Getting Upset

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Losing temper commonly is referred to as the opposite of being patient. You fail to present yourself in the way you like to be seen by others. You don’t keep calm as you prefer to. You are hastily saying things that you even might regret later on.

You feel something is going wrong. You are not sure what to make of something another person says or does.

You don’t have a ready concept on how to deal with a situation. You lose your composure. Per chance you tend to feel hurt or disappointed. At the same time you may feel bad about your own reaction and behaviour.

Such things may happen in any human relationship. People who professionally care for other men and women may know of such incidents too.

If you should be living in a foreign country with a foreign culture at times you may painfully realise that people round you have a way of thinking different from your own. They may react emotionally and be upset about things you would not care much about – and vice versa.

Little children tend to have their own peculiar way of thinking. At times they prove to be completely unaware of adult businesslike concepts of effective behaviour.

Special needs children may feel very differently about certain things. They may fail to appreciate what we might expect from them.

Elderly individuals may be strange at times. Those suffering from dementia may suddenly behave in ways that they might have objected to themselves in younger days. This can be especially irritable to family members.

Old people may be unhappy about losing strength and various abilities. Forgetfulness may be another problem area. To family members this can be a painful situation.

Life presents various opportunities to lose temper. There may be many situations that make us feel upset.

Introducing us to his 13th chapter in 1 Corinthians St. Paul has said he wanted to point us to a better way. In spite of various gifts, skills and abilities at times we may fail to adequately deal with certain situations.

Love and appreciation may be a bridge. People may not understand your language or the words you say. Yet they will be aware of your attitude towards them.

According to St. Paul somehow faith in God is a source of such love. As we become aware of how loving and patient God is with ourselves we may learn to be patient with others too.

Here is 1 Corinthians 13:4 according to the PHILLIPS translation: “This love of which I speak is slow to lose patience – it looks for a way of being constructive. It is not possessive: it is neither anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own importance.”

 

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This post has been partly inspired by an article of another blogger. The author of “Sometimes Care Giving Stinks” usually writes about experiences in living with and raising an autistic child. In the following I am giving you a link to one of his posts. Here he also refers to caring for a person with dementia. He provides some interesting links. Reading this post may help you understand what per chance could incite us to lose our temper.

” Only human | Sometimes Care Giving Stinks

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A Parable of Jesus – and Thoughts onPatience

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Then Jesus told this parable: “A man had a fig-tree, planted in his vineyard, and he went to look for fruit on it, but did not find any. So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard. ‘For three years now I’ve been coming to look for fruit on this fig-tree and haven’t found any. Cut it down! Why should it use up the soil?’

‘Sir’, the man replied, ‘leave it alone for one more year, and I’ll dig round it and fertilise it. If it bears fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down.’” (Luke 13:6-9/NIV).

This is another post on patience. The owner of the vineyard and the fig-tree had clear expectations. He wanted his fig-tree to bear fruit. He had been patient so far. He had given the tree three years. Now for three years the tree had not yielded any fruit.

The other person, the man taking care of the vineyard was even more patient, – and he was of a practical disposition. He suggested giving the fruitless tree one more year. During this year he wanted to do all that was in his power to help that the tree should bear fruit.

You might just throw some fertiliser on the surface round about a tree. This man intended to dig round the tree and then fertilise it. The fertiliser would then be closer to the roots of the tree.

 

Now as for situations that call for patience I would like to share two suggestions:

  1. At times it may help to rethink your expectations. Perhaps your expectations are unrealistic or unnecessary. In the landowner’s case it was clear he had a fig-tree for the sole purpose that it should bear fruit. He did not need the tree to provide some shade for the vineyard as vine likes a lot of sun.
  2. There may be something you can do to enhance the likelihood of your expectations coming true. Once again and with utmost care do all that is in your power.

 

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